Today, I notice something that I haven't notice in a very long time. I look at my dad and mum, and saw their gray hairs. I remember that I used to notice that when I was a little girl. I'd told them that they have gray hairs and volunteered to pull it off for them.
I guess when I grew up, I learned that it's just a normal phenomenon and I stop noticing it. Until today, my father claimed that he had a headache and it went on and off for almost a week now. We went to the temple to pray and he felt dizzy for a little while.
Suddenly, I saw his gray hairs. There are so much that I can't even count it like I used to do when I was younger. Looking closely to his face, I saw that there are a lot of wrinkles on his face. The symptoms of aging cannot be hide anymore. Of course, that includes the symptoms of his tiredness.
The thought that I'm growing up so fast, trying to do something I like actually means that their growing older so fast, trying to keep us happy came across my mind. As I grow up, I knew that someday I will have to leave them, but now, I realize that they will leave me someday too.
Of course, I have my sister with me, but she will also get married and have her own family. I hate to see that kind of thing to happen but this is life, this is reality. I hope that I will never grow up and I never have to leave their sides.
My mum is a strict person, my dad is a tempered person, while my sis is a mysterious person. We are all different from each other but we are one family that accompany each other and walk through the most important times in our life.
PTG: Please let me know that I will notice their aging so that I don't do stupid things to make them angry. Please let me know that we will all be in each others memories and heart even when we are separated. Please let me know that we will love each other forever and will never abandon anyone behind us. God, please let them know that I love them very much.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
My Dreams, My Future
Come to think of it, I just realize that I actually don't have big dreams or big wishes. I was always lucky in all kind of way. I found money on the floor sometimes, I have friends that cares and laugh with me uncontrollably all the times, last but not least, I always score good scores in major exams.
Sure you'll think that it is my effort that I get good results, but you are so totally wrong. I can tell you that it is merely luck that bring me this far in my studying life. As far as I can recall, I get all my good results with very little efforts.
I know that this saying of mine might annoy someone, but this is the truth. And it is because I know that it is true, I never have big dreams, big hopes or big plans for my future. I just hope I can finish my college life, or if possible, university life in peace and sound.
I do not hope to be professionals, I dare not hope. I can never be someone big. I can never be Thomas Edison or Leonardo Da Vinci. I'm happy enough to be me. I definitely wish that I get to do things I like, but looks like everyone misunderstand that the luck was my hardworking.
I once again declare it right here, IT'S JUST MY LUCK. I don't want to carry this luck if it is going to make my life so pressured. It has been a problem and I have tonnes and loads of pressure on my back that will suffocate me anytime.
PTG: Please, God, help me reclaim the life that I hope for, the job that I love, the people that I care, and the pressure-free I die for. I can never blame you for your bless nor ask for more from you, but, just for this once, I hope that you can bless me more.
Sure you'll think that it is my effort that I get good results, but you are so totally wrong. I can tell you that it is merely luck that bring me this far in my studying life. As far as I can recall, I get all my good results with very little efforts.
I know that this saying of mine might annoy someone, but this is the truth. And it is because I know that it is true, I never have big dreams, big hopes or big plans for my future. I just hope I can finish my college life, or if possible, university life in peace and sound.
I do not hope to be professionals, I dare not hope. I can never be someone big. I can never be Thomas Edison or Leonardo Da Vinci. I'm happy enough to be me. I definitely wish that I get to do things I like, but looks like everyone misunderstand that the luck was my hardworking.
I once again declare it right here, IT'S JUST MY LUCK. I don't want to carry this luck if it is going to make my life so pressured. It has been a problem and I have tonnes and loads of pressure on my back that will suffocate me anytime.
PTG: Please, God, help me reclaim the life that I hope for, the job that I love, the people that I care, and the pressure-free I die for. I can never blame you for your bless nor ask for more from you, but, just for this once, I hope that you can bless me more.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Grandma's visit to Ipoh
Last Friday night, my grandmother and my cousins along with my aunt and uncle visited us in Ipoh. They arrived at around 6 o'clock in the evening. I was excited to see them.
My cousins, both younger than me just finish their major exams. My cousin sister,12, just finished her UPSR, while my cousin brother, 15, just finished his PMR. Well, lucky for them, they can finally relax and have fun. Unfortunately for me, I stll have to fight to get through SPM.
Well, enough of the bad things. They came and we have fun. We went to eat at the same store twice in two different nights. We went to karaoke and sing until our lungs almost burst. I even skip one hour of Add. Maths tuition to have lunch with them before they went back.
Although we have plenty of fun, but there is just one thing I complaint. THEY BRING THEIR DOG, NICKY. I admit that I don't like dogs, and sometimes they can really make you go mad. Nicky is cute, if he don't licks my leg. Nicky is also cute, only if he don't run around and pees everywhere.
The only thing I can say is sometimes I really can't stand him, but what else can I do? I can't ask them to abandoned him. Though my cousin, Johnny, says I don't have heart for little animals, I don't really care.
I know now that I won't have a pet in my life not now and definitely not in the future. I don't think I can take care of them well.
PTG: I hope that I can withstand the pressure on me now. I hope that my effort can give me a promising and satisfying results. I hope that I could find that friendship that will pull us closer. I hope that all my hard work won't be wasted. I make this hope because I know God will be by my side.
My cousins, both younger than me just finish their major exams. My cousin sister,12, just finished her UPSR, while my cousin brother, 15, just finished his PMR. Well, lucky for them, they can finally relax and have fun. Unfortunately for me, I stll have to fight to get through SPM.
Well, enough of the bad things. They came and we have fun. We went to eat at the same store twice in two different nights. We went to karaoke and sing until our lungs almost burst. I even skip one hour of Add. Maths tuition to have lunch with them before they went back.
Although we have plenty of fun, but there is just one thing I complaint. THEY BRING THEIR DOG, NICKY. I admit that I don't like dogs, and sometimes they can really make you go mad. Nicky is cute, if he don't licks my leg. Nicky is also cute, only if he don't run around and pees everywhere.
The only thing I can say is sometimes I really can't stand him, but what else can I do? I can't ask them to abandoned him. Though my cousin, Johnny, says I don't have heart for little animals, I don't really care.
I know now that I won't have a pet in my life not now and definitely not in the future. I don't think I can take care of them well.
PTG: I hope that I can withstand the pressure on me now. I hope that my effort can give me a promising and satisfying results. I hope that I could find that friendship that will pull us closer. I hope that all my hard work won't be wasted. I make this hope because I know God will be by my side.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Holiday Plans
Yay.. Tomorrow is Deepavali holiday until Monday. I am feeling so happy because I love holidays. To me, holidays means I can sleep as late as I can, play computer games as long as I can, watch television as much as I like, and finally do not need to rush my homework.
Well, another thing I like about holidays is I can go out of the house to travel. Even though I have not travel to a lot of places, but I am happy enough if I get the chance to go out. Although the place that I visit most is my grandmother's house, but I still feel very happy.
Whenever I think of visiting my grandmother's house, I feel so excited. This is because I get to meet my cousins and we can gather around and eat all kinds of delicious food. We would go shopping, watch movie and the most important thing is eating.
As far as I can remember, the furthest place I went is Malacca, or is it Kedah? Well, it has got to be one of it. I went to both place with my family. It was fun and we enjoyed it. In my own thinking, no matter what place I go, as long as I went with my family or friends, I will definitely love the trip.
I even think of visiting or studying at other countries, but when I think of the lack of my family presence, I would rather stay at my hometown. After finishing my SPM exam, I am planning to go for a trip with my cousins and of course my favourite and only sister.
I truly believe that we will have an unforgettable trip. I wonder what plans my friends have for their holidays, but I hope that they will have a happy holiday. Especially my Indian friend, Rohini.
PTG: I hope that I can always be this happy, always have this kind of braveness in my heart to allow me to do whatever I like. Last but not least, I hope that my family and all of my friends can feel this kind of happiness when I am around them.
Well, another thing I like about holidays is I can go out of the house to travel. Even though I have not travel to a lot of places, but I am happy enough if I get the chance to go out. Although the place that I visit most is my grandmother's house, but I still feel very happy.
Whenever I think of visiting my grandmother's house, I feel so excited. This is because I get to meet my cousins and we can gather around and eat all kinds of delicious food. We would go shopping, watch movie and the most important thing is eating.
As far as I can remember, the furthest place I went is Malacca, or is it Kedah? Well, it has got to be one of it. I went to both place with my family. It was fun and we enjoyed it. In my own thinking, no matter what place I go, as long as I went with my family or friends, I will definitely love the trip.
I even think of visiting or studying at other countries, but when I think of the lack of my family presence, I would rather stay at my hometown. After finishing my SPM exam, I am planning to go for a trip with my cousins and of course my favourite and only sister.
I truly believe that we will have an unforgettable trip. I wonder what plans my friends have for their holidays, but I hope that they will have a happy holiday. Especially my Indian friend, Rohini.
PTG: I hope that I can always be this happy, always have this kind of braveness in my heart to allow me to do whatever I like. Last but not least, I hope that my family and all of my friends can feel this kind of happiness when I am around them.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Growing Up
This is so frustrating. I have absolutely no idea what to do now? Am I making the right choice? Is this what I really want and won't regret for the rest of my life?
I have plans in my head and seems to be unacceptable by some of my classmates. Even she, the one i really care doesn't seems to be very supportive. I argued with her over this topic. Maybe she's right, maybe I'm right, but who knows what is going to happen next.
My plan was to study in the field of business during the January intake at KTAR, then pursue other subjects after i graduated my Diploma. If my SPM results are satisfying, then i can take a year of foundation and pursue degree in university.
My thoughts are that there is no harm in taking another course. To me, it's just another skill for me to widen my range of career options.
This plan of mine seems to be getting a lot of disapproves and objections. Maybe they think that it's a waste of money and time. Maybe my thoughts are wrong.
AAARRGHHH............... Why do we have to grow up? Why can't we be kids forever? Why can't I have some support and compliments from my family? I wish that life is as easy as the song "When I Grow Up" sang by the Possycat Dolls. Looks like it's just a dream for us.
PTG: I hope that we will be kids forever. I know we are kids forever in the eyes of God and parents, but we still have to grow up and face this world of confusion. I hope that my world can be as simple as trying to be a good girl and receive compliments from my love ones. I know this world of mine will change, but God, can I just own it for a little longer?
I have plans in my head and seems to be unacceptable by some of my classmates. Even she, the one i really care doesn't seems to be very supportive. I argued with her over this topic. Maybe she's right, maybe I'm right, but who knows what is going to happen next.
My plan was to study in the field of business during the January intake at KTAR, then pursue other subjects after i graduated my Diploma. If my SPM results are satisfying, then i can take a year of foundation and pursue degree in university.
My thoughts are that there is no harm in taking another course. To me, it's just another skill for me to widen my range of career options.
This plan of mine seems to be getting a lot of disapproves and objections. Maybe they think that it's a waste of money and time. Maybe my thoughts are wrong.
AAARRGHHH............... Why do we have to grow up? Why can't we be kids forever? Why can't I have some support and compliments from my family? I wish that life is as easy as the song "When I Grow Up" sang by the Possycat Dolls. Looks like it's just a dream for us.
PTG: I hope that we will be kids forever. I know we are kids forever in the eyes of God and parents, but we still have to grow up and face this world of confusion. I hope that my world can be as simple as trying to be a good girl and receive compliments from my love ones. I know this world of mine will change, but God, can I just own it for a little longer?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Exchange Program
Sigh.. One of my friend is going to Japan as an exchange student. I felt happy for him but at the same time i was a bit jealous.
To be very honest, I have been dreaming to study overseas for like.. my whole life. I really would like to go overseas someday and pursue what i want to study. I want to experience what other people on the other side of this country experiences.
Unfortunately, with the economical background of my family, the only way i can achieve that goal is to get a scholarship. It's not like I don't want to get it, just sometimes i felt doubt in myself.
I believe very much in my gift of communicating with the others, but my family members seems to take it as some kind of useless crap.
I have a true and deep passion in careers that require this gift and skill I have, but on the other hand, my family has a different opinion.
I cannot say that they are wrong entirely, but they just kind of don't really understand me. I was hoping to choose a subject that i have great interest in, and have full loads of passion and confidence to pursue it. But it seems like interest can't be a career according to my family.
Well. hopefully in the very soon future of my college life, i will be pursuing the course of my dreams, the job of my passion, the career of my interest, and the life of my wish.
PTG: May I have the strength to follow my dreams, the confidence to live my own life, the braveness to fight for my own future, the passion to defend my interest. May I can do what i love in the way I love. May I always be strong.
To be very honest, I have been dreaming to study overseas for like.. my whole life. I really would like to go overseas someday and pursue what i want to study. I want to experience what other people on the other side of this country experiences.
Unfortunately, with the economical background of my family, the only way i can achieve that goal is to get a scholarship. It's not like I don't want to get it, just sometimes i felt doubt in myself.
I believe very much in my gift of communicating with the others, but my family members seems to take it as some kind of useless crap.
I have a true and deep passion in careers that require this gift and skill I have, but on the other hand, my family has a different opinion.
I cannot say that they are wrong entirely, but they just kind of don't really understand me. I was hoping to choose a subject that i have great interest in, and have full loads of passion and confidence to pursue it. But it seems like interest can't be a career according to my family.
Well. hopefully in the very soon future of my college life, i will be pursuing the course of my dreams, the job of my passion, the career of my interest, and the life of my wish.
PTG: May I have the strength to follow my dreams, the confidence to live my own life, the braveness to fight for my own future, the passion to defend my interest. May I can do what i love in the way I love. May I always be strong.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Discrmination
Discrimination has been a problem for fellow earthlings since millions of years ago. There are all kind of discrimination in this world from all kinds of people.
Rich people discriminating the poor, white people discriminating the black, and also skinny people discriminating the fat. There are still all kinds of discrimination happening all around the world.
We've been putting a lot of efforts to vanish discrimination between people on the reason of humanity, but it looks like no matter how we tried, it is still a fantasy to achieve equality right now.
I cannot say that all people will discriminate others, but i truly believe that deep down in each of us, there are something or some people that we dislike. This is human nature. We all have the nature of discriminate because it will make us to feel better.
We don't need to feel better by discriminating others, we can feel better as long as we are confident. Confident about your looks, the way you speak, the flaws in you given by god, and you will find a way to equality.
I am a plus size girl and i don't feel bad about myself. People that discriminate girls like me would say that fat girls do not have proper self-management. It's not a sin if you like to eat and it's not a sin to be fat. Just believe in yourself and it is enough for yourself to understand that everything the others said will not beat you down.
To achieve equality, try not to attack others by actions or words. Try looking at them in the same way you look at yourself. Try to bear in mind that everyone is God's creation.
PTG: Let us be set free from this injustice and inequality of humans. Let us know that we are all special in a different way. Let us know that we are all your children. Let us know that we can be different.
Rich people discriminating the poor, white people discriminating the black, and also skinny people discriminating the fat. There are still all kinds of discrimination happening all around the world.
We've been putting a lot of efforts to vanish discrimination between people on the reason of humanity, but it looks like no matter how we tried, it is still a fantasy to achieve equality right now.
I cannot say that all people will discriminate others, but i truly believe that deep down in each of us, there are something or some people that we dislike. This is human nature. We all have the nature of discriminate because it will make us to feel better.
We don't need to feel better by discriminating others, we can feel better as long as we are confident. Confident about your looks, the way you speak, the flaws in you given by god, and you will find a way to equality.
I am a plus size girl and i don't feel bad about myself. People that discriminate girls like me would say that fat girls do not have proper self-management. It's not a sin if you like to eat and it's not a sin to be fat. Just believe in yourself and it is enough for yourself to understand that everything the others said will not beat you down.
To achieve equality, try not to attack others by actions or words. Try looking at them in the same way you look at yourself. Try to bear in mind that everyone is God's creation.
PTG: Let us be set free from this injustice and inequality of humans. Let us know that we are all special in a different way. Let us know that we are all your children. Let us know that we can be different.
New blog
This is my new blog... I'm going to write down my mood and my thoughts in this blog...
I saw my friends blogging a lot and so i decided to try blogging...
Recently, a lot of things had happen around me.. Especially about my results... IT'S A DISASTER!
Although i did not get results that are exceptionally good, but it satisfied me since i did not fail!
There are also something else that happen to my friends. Break Up is the phrase to describe it..
Love is a really weird thing.. It can cure you and kill you at the very same time.. One thing that cross my mind is that their relationship actually lasted quite a long time...
And so it kind of shows me that a relationship can last for a long time if you have a full load of patient in you...
It's going to be very busy in the next two months...
Achieving A+ is the teacher's expectation,
Achieving A+ is my family's hope,
Achieving PASS is my only desire...
Prayers To God ( PTG)
Please help me to feel confident, to feel optimistic, to feel strengths, and to feel blessed and love.
I pray wholeheartedly to convince myself that i will pass through every test, break through every challenge arranged in my life.
I saw my friends blogging a lot and so i decided to try blogging...
Recently, a lot of things had happen around me.. Especially about my results... IT'S A DISASTER!
Although i did not get results that are exceptionally good, but it satisfied me since i did not fail!
There are also something else that happen to my friends. Break Up is the phrase to describe it..
Love is a really weird thing.. It can cure you and kill you at the very same time.. One thing that cross my mind is that their relationship actually lasted quite a long time...
And so it kind of shows me that a relationship can last for a long time if you have a full load of patient in you...
It's going to be very busy in the next two months...
Achieving A+ is the teacher's expectation,
Achieving A+ is my family's hope,
Achieving PASS is my only desire...
Prayers To God ( PTG)
Please help me to feel confident, to feel optimistic, to feel strengths, and to feel blessed and love.
I pray wholeheartedly to convince myself that i will pass through every test, break through every challenge arranged in my life.
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